I don't know about you but when God is "fixin" to do something big I usually get this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Not because I don't like what he does, but because I hate change. I hate it..I can't help myself. I'm an old stodger at heart. Any of my friends that are reading this might be surprised by that given the fact that we have moved 4 times in the last 6 years, not to mention my penchant for the dramatic. Somehow some kind of drama always seems to work it's way into my life. I think it's God's way of saying "Don't get cozy, sister. I'm in control here...We do it My way!" We've been hacking it out with the help of the Almighty in the form of some very generous monetary gifts, for the last 4 years. Lately though, I think God's trying to tell us it's time for a change. Derek has been working an average of 55 hours a week for the last 3 years and he's tired. Sick and tired. We've been praying for years for relief from this schedule and I think (hope) we're about to see that prayer answered. My mother just bought a house and generously asked us to move in so that we can afford to live on less income. With much prayer and leading from the Lord we've agreed to go. I can't say I'm not afraid, I am. I've had my own home for the last 6 years and it's going to be difficult to give that up. Ah, and here comes the big change. The plan is for me to go back to work. Which means I'm sending my wonderful boys to someone else during the day. Granted this is just until the insurance kicks in but the idea quite honestly makes me ill. Not because I have a hang up about whose job it is to care for my children but because I'm honestly afraid. Sure I want to be home with my sweeties, I love it and I think it's the best place for me but the best thing for my family right now is for me to help out so that Derek can get through seminary some time this century! What scares me about all this is how society is now days. It seems like every report on the news is about a child being abused, abducted, or worse murdered. Who knows if this person I trust with my children is really trust worthy. What do I do with all this fear? I take it to the Lord. Let's see what he has to say.

Psalm 4:8 says,"I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety."

The Lord alone...ALONE, is in control. I can worry all I want but ultimately it's fruitless because he controls the universe...every last bit. So I will sleep in peace KNOWING that his Word says He is in control.

Phillipians 4:6-7 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything with prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

God doesn't want me to worry. God doesn't want me to fear. He wants me to trust that his will is what's best. He doesn't say nothing bad will ever happen just that His peace will guard my heart and mind. My SANITY! It's a good thing God can do all things.....

How about Phillipians 4:8 "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."

When I worry what am I thinking about? I'll tell you what, it's none of those things. I have to say in the past this verse has saved me from despair. The world will tell me I have much reason to be defeated but God says, "not so!" In my darkest time I found that almost all of my thoughts were on whatever is false, whatever is unrefined, whatever is false, whatever is blemished, whatever is ugly, whatever is pitiful - anything that was failure or humiliating. Oh how I longed for my Lord and what healing came from His word.

So what do I do with my fear...I trust that God keeps his promises, and I pray for his strength and guidance because He is my El Roi....the God who sees even me. Thank you Jesus.